“As you search for a partner, you will feel a big, intoxicating charge for certain people.
If you follow that infatuated feeling inside to its source, it is likely that you will find one of those basement children in a state of ecstasy at the prospect of finally being redeemed and cared for in the way it has longed for.”
-Dr. Richard Schwartz
Couples & Families
Relationships may be complicated. Most relationships begin in the honeymoon phase, but what happens when reality sets in? When each other’s vulnerabilities and flaws are exposed? You question how do you grow out of this negative cycle.
For those of you who are in a negative cycle, the Internal Family Systems (IFS) approach and Emotionally Focused therapy (EFT), among other modalities, have helped me to understand that our internal struggle may trigger our partner’s internal struggle which become our couple’s conflict.
The good news ... is that you can modify the negative cycle and learn to regulate yourself to learn to co-regulate as a couple. This does not happen overnight. But our way of communicating and regulating ourselves can be changed. The advantage is that you are not alone. We all have a brain that has helped us to defend by using fight, flight, freeze and collapsed strategies without realizing that we are no longer helpless children. Now, we can use love, compassion and connection to ask for what we need.
IFS is also used in couples and family psychotherapy. As a Certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) psychotherapist in Nashville, TN, I will help you to explore the effects of your current internal struggle as well as your couple’s conflict and your ability to feel calm and centered. The goal is for you to learn how to create a relationship with your negative pattern from a space of love and compassion by using your-Self to open space for each other’s wounded parts.
Specialties
Attachment trauma/wounds Communication Issues
Divorce Domestic Violence
Life Transitions PTSD